Four Things Greater Than All Things Are, Women & Power & Horses & War

Having such an intense relationship with Whisper, I was in a hurry to find it with Bandon, he's teaching me that there are some things only time can cultivate. He is not an overly affectionate silly kind of horse, his affection is earned and it took us until this afternoon for him to let me know that there was a place on his neck he enjoyed being scratched, leaning his spring-breeze and warm hay scent saturated shoulder into me stretching his long neck out in an uncharacteristic display of relaxed pleasure, I tried not to overreact in my glee that he opened up to me a little more.

These things aren't forced or even sought out, they just come to you hoping when they arrive that you are paying attention.

I listened a few days ago as a horse trainer spoke about walking into an interaction with your horse and immediately creating a war. He pointed out that making peace and keeping it, was the biggest challenge you may face and the most important.

Trust has been the ultimate divider between me and finding that peace working with my horse. Whisper has made quite a few dangerous decisions, thanks to her unpredictable mind, and I've been lucky so far to only have minor injuries from them. I find myself, deep down under my active thoughts, begging Bandon to take care of me.

Fear awoke in me in the most basic sense when my first child was born. Before that I never gave a second thought to injury or even death. Once he was born there was a reason I needed to be here and well at all times. Ironic given that the birth of a child also awakens in you and enormous feeling of immortality as a part of you lives beyond you, but I digress... the fear is always there, very small, as a new constant companion you have to learn how to tolerate and continue on with.

Fear has no place on the back of a horse.

Bandon will let down his walls as I start to ease up on mine. I'll trust him to be my legs without question and I'll do my best to come to him as an open conversation and not ready to win an argument.

He will, in return, give me the most freedom you can have while still on Earth.