Most things people say to others when grieving, don't hold a lot of water for me.
I saw this picture and I fell to pieces.
These three horses are all gone now and this picture was taken just in November.
Where did it go wrong?
Perspective came as my heart opened up to the stories that kept coming across my screen, at first I ignored them, then I started to let them sink in. I haven't asked individual permission to share these stories so I'll be vague as possible save for the experiences I know are public.
There is a Thoroughbred Makeover Challenge this summer, modeled after the Extreme Mustang Makeovers, where pre-selected trainers (26) chose an OTTB with few, if any, rides off the track, to train and expo in October.
I'm sorry that I can't find the exact number at this moment but I believe somewhere in the range of 4 or 5 of these horses that were carefully screened and selected by the trainers, have already been returned due to soundness complications after starting with their trainers. One horse died shortly after arriving at his new trainer's, a believed heart condition that was undetected.
Not due to any neglect or any mean natured intent, just because it's what happens with horses, 20% of these thoroughly pre-screened OTTB's could not continue training to be a normal mount.
A friend's favorite mare balked at a trailer load. The friend asked again and the mare reared, falling, and breaking her neck.
A rescue case needed a stallion gelded and funds were there to help. Last week, after a smooth procedure, the horse struggled to get up and broke his leg needing immediate euthanasia.
A friend paid thousands on a surgery to save a beloved horse's life who was colicing only to lose him months later.
While it's kind of twisted that all these stories bring me comfort, it at least reminds me that it happens all the time and everywhere. Famous trainers and backyard horses who are doted on.
Then there is a good friend's horse who is now in his mid-thirties. Plugging along and still happy to trot out every night with the other horses leaving the barn.
Whisper brought me where I am (with a little help from my husband) to a dream I gave up on a long long time ago. The after-jockey dream is still there and still waiting to be realized and I think I owe it to her to do it now more than ever.
There was a horse, not just a horse (which would be enough for me) he was even more than that. A Grade 1 race winning horse. Last week and 5 years to the day of winning that great race (and a total of nearly half a million dollars in his life) he died. Not due to a tragic accident. Nope. He was put down on the track entered in a $4000 claiming race.
The tragedy of Monzante's death happening on the heels of Whisper struck a deep nerve. This horse traded hands more times than I can count. He ran his best for his owners and trainers until he had no more and they passed him on. Lower and lower down until he was at a bottom of the rung track and his trainer made the choice on the track as he faltered during the race, to put him down, though the vet stated the horse was salvageable.
Monzante didn't have the dignity of being salvaged. The freedom of a pasture. The chance to have a little girl fall in love with him. A life away from the work he gave his whole life in servitude.
I will do something more to help these horses, I'm not sure what just yet and I would be satisfied if my endeavors saved just a handful of horses in my lifetime, I just wish she could be here with me to see it all.
I believe in my heart that God experiences the world through us. This is my life and he experiences my world through me. That helps me remember that he loved Whisper too and that she is safe, though it doesn't stop the tears from coming every time I say her name.
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