Starting Over

I suppose you go into every new dream naive. If you could see all the blood and guts of it, it sort of ceases to be the new dream and starts to be reality.

My dream to be an after-jockey was soaked in naivety.

Yesterday afternoon I sat in the deep grass of the pasture looking at Whisper grazing in front of me, Lake lying in the barn behind me, already gone. I spoke some choice words to God and questioned over and over again why Lake had to survive a broken leg to go on to race again at the track only to come here for a new start and break the same leg again. He was meant to die here apparently. I don't know. I'm angry and sad and disappointed. We gave him 100 hours of the freedom of turnout, more than he had before, way less than he deserved.

Within an hour of his passing two extremes happened. The first was Lake's former owner/trainer (who I was on the phone with as the vet was there with Lake) offering me support and another horse whenever I was ready. The second was a call from a horse rescue coordinator questioning how and why this happened on my watch, hanging up on me before I could compose an answer through my shock. It was awful.

In response to Lake's trainer yesterday I said, "No". I didn't want another horse. I wanted Lake. I could never do this again. The Seven Hearts OTTB foster program is over.

I was naive to think I could take them in, help them, then say good-bye. I know that this circumstance was extreme and adopting out is a happy good-bye, still I hadn't been able to prevent the intense way my heart  bonds to those soft Thoroughbred hearts

In the pre-dawn hours this morning I went out to do chores and clean stalls. The shocking hole of emptiness stared at me. In 2 short weeks we had gotten used to Lake's head over the stall door. His halter hanging on his hook. Now it all looked so barren.

I turned back to Whisper and got to work. There is a little secret horse folks have, while it may seem icky to a lot of people, cleaning stalls is actually a wonderful way to clear your head. It takes no brain power and your mind is free to work out whatever it needs to while your body goes on auto-pilot.

I kept coming back to how it was just such a sad thing that Lake was so young. What a waste of a wonderful personality in such a gorgeous animal. What a waste.

Then I walked by the empty stall and "what a waste" came back to me again. Lake's life was gone but there were more behind him begging for another chance at their own life and I had space. Space that was going to waste.

Someone said once that when an animal dies the solution is getting another, immediately, to help you heal. A heart with a gaping hole obviously has room to fill.

I don't know when it will be, but I do know it will be a resident, not a foster, when the space becomes full once again.

I was naive to think that my small farm with a small herd could handle the intense change that a new member brings when you have the turn-overs of foster. I was naive to think I could handle working closely 3 times a day with any animal and not loving it with all my heart.

Good-Bye

The vet came out this morning to x-ray Lake. It was immediately clear that he had broken multiple bones including the joint.

There was no hope. There was no explanation. I kept asking the vet how this could happen from a simple kick and he said he had seen it happen before.

To say that my heart was torn out looking into his big gorgeous eyes doesn't even come close. I tried to explain it to Lake but it's hard to make sense of any life ending so soon and so full of promise over such a stupid minor thing like a kick.

I stayed with him... and that's all I can say about that as the tears won't stop and I can't see the page I'm typing on any longer.

Lake's Accident

I decided to write for a minute before I go up to the barn this morning because overnight there is this sensation of hope that really builds when you start to convince yourself that in the morning the horse will show marked improvement and that the worst is behind you.

I'm still soaking in that hope a little longer before I go out.

Sunday morning Lake was not resting on the leg as much but did still place it down. Continue bute and stall rest though at this point he was distressed to see Whisper and Spot go out and he hop-paced his stall a lot.

Sunday at lunch Lake looked much worse. He was not using the leg at all. There was mild swelling right at the elbow. I called the vet out for an emergency consult.

Within the first 3 minutes of evaluating the leg the vet began to ask me ownership questions. Was I the sole owner and decision maker? Was there a contract? Who had stakes in the horse other than me? My heart dropped and a lump came up in my throat.

There were a lot of words coming out of his mouth to me, Radial Nerve Paralysis... can't for sure say break in elbow but I'm leaning that way.... year to longer recovery IF they recover and the other legs don't break down as they heal... never achieve normal movement again... elbow fractures are not treated in horses, they just don't heal

It hits me that the snickers colored horse with his head smooshed in my stomach may have just ended his life with a simple kick.

The vet didn't have xray equipment on his on-call truck on a Sunday and if he did and it was a break there would be nothing to do but put him down. It is possible that muscle swelling, not a break, has compromised the nerve and anti-inflammatories and diuretics would begin to resolve it quickly if that were the case.

We loaded him with heavy doses and the vet left me with more. The plan : treat him like it's best case scenario, hope there is significant change in the next 2 days, go from there with x-rays

Lake is comfortable, he's happy eating and wanting to pull at my clothes. I brought Whisper back in to be with him through this so he's got a friend near-by.

My first call was to my great friend, Amy so I could get the news out with a lot of the tears so I was ready for my next call, to Lake's owner/trainer in Kentucky who sent him here. Everyone was supportive and hopeful.

Late last night I went out to give Lake his last round of meds for the day and found him laying in the stall. I spoke quietly trying to get him to stay there while I treated him but he insisted on getting up. I couldn't watch and instead just listened to the struggle until his nose brushed into my neck looking for love. He just has to be better.

Pony Swap Gone Horribley Wrong

I met a local horse friend through the wonders of social media and I went out to Cindy's barn for the first time last month and just loved it. She's about 5 miles away from me and has the happiest farm full of ponies complete with mobs of kids crawling all over them. Watching her riding arena during lessons reminds me of happy Thelwell sketches with Elementary aged kids putting their ponies through their paces. I talked to her at length about Ben and how we brought him with us as a horse for our kids and as he came into a healthy weight he wasn't working out that way.

Cindy had a student who is a fearless rider looking for something with a little more than her pony was offering. A little more willingness to work, a little more responsive when asked to change the pace up. She had, instead, a pony that is as sweet as can be but isn't in a hurry to get more laps in around the ring.

We worked out a trial period for her pony to come here and Ben to go there. Ben has for weeks now been too much for my kids (and at times myself) to handle or ride. His major vice, being herd bound to Whisper, would immediately be remedied once he was moved. Ben was too much for my baby beginner rider kids, and their pony wasn't enough of a ride for the more experienced students.

Their pony, Spotlight, is a 10 year old POA who is super cute. For the first time in a long time Sage asked for more time to ride instead of getting worried and wanting off as soon as she was in the saddle. Hunter did great on him, trotting around and working nicely.

With Ben's original rescuer's blessing, we tried it out. Unfortunately the morning of the pony swap as I went to catch up the horses, Ben didn't want me to be near him or Whisper. He kept himself between Whisper and I and ran. Lake became swept up in all the running and was kicked. Hard. I could hear a clear cracking sound as contact was made to Lake's shoulder. He immediately went dead lame unable to bear weight on the leg. I thought I was going to vomit.

I finally caught Ben and Whisper to bring up to the barn. Lake hobbled as best he could then broke into a canter since he could hold a 3 beat gait and not use his leg at all.  When he got to the stall I palpated each joint and couldn't find anything specific. He seemed ouchy just under the actual kick location on the outer shoulder but rested bearing weight on it. I called the vet and he was hopeful it was mostly soft tissue given the location and his reaction so we agreed to bute, rest, watch. Lake didn't seem to mind and dove into his hay.

A few hours later, Ben's new little person arrived to begin his trial period.

And we turned out the new pony.

Spotlight went straight to work mowing my pasture and I turned Whisper back out with him. As evening came I went out to the pasture with ropes and Spotlight walked right to me to be brought in, followed by Whisper. It was a nice change from all the daily battles I'd had since Ben bonded so strong to Whisper making everyone hard to catch and handle since we'd moved here with the two. My relief was short lived though as Lake called from the barn and my heart hurt for him that he had been injured today. I hope he is back on turnout again in the next day or two so he can enjoy the new normal too.

Lake's First Turnout

The vet cleared Lake for pasture turn-out and also left me a sedative that was just enough to take the edge off him without making him dopey and things went really smoothly.

I brought Whisper and Ben in at lunch for a little snack and took Lake out to hand graze after his drugs kicked in.

Back-up a second... While I am super happy with how the drugs worked to relax Lake, putting something under a horse's tongue is an interesting process... made more interesting if said horse is high as a kite from being stalled and is literally chewing the wood off his stall. My barn cat, Merry, had the most amused look on her face watching me attempt to dope the horse without doping myself or losing a finger.

I got the drugs in the horse finally so that Lake was relaxed in hand, he started to graze immediately. While he was grazing I slipped his halter off without him even really seeming to notice.

5 min later I turned out Ben and Whisper.

Before you read farther, I'm interested if most of you predicted what I did... if so you're as wrong as I was. Yes, Whisper was a slight drama queen...

but it was Ben who really had a hard time, constantly picking a fight with Lake, pursuing him even.

An hour later, everyone is grazing calmly. Lake has yet to do more than walk to a new place and graze. 

Lake Arrives

I think this post is best began with an overdue, MY HUSBAND IS AWESOME.

Here is a guy who thought horses were like cows in the intelligence department when he met me. He's quickly changed his opinions way back when we started with Promise and started to appreciate them the way I do. Chris is a keeper for many good reasons but this really seals the deal for me. They like him too and the hours he put in finishing out the stalls the way I wanted them for Lake's arrival today was testament to his commitment to our little stable.

Before

After

Lake Pleasant arrived to Ben nickering a greeting and immediately settled in by rolling in his stall.

He's a cutie, pictures really don't do him justice. He's shorter coupled than Whisper but about the same height.

He acts like a 5 year old, super playful, and so far very kind and considerate of body space. We'll see how that lasts as he gets more comfortable with us.

I went into taking Lake with my grand plan of foster. I decided to treat him (emotionally) like a boarding horse. Tonight Chris made it a point to tell me that he had budgeted to keep Lake because he's pretty sure the horse will never leave.

Track Trainers Are Not All Bad

Track people get a bad reputation that isn't always warranted. I love sports and I love animals. Horse racing, dog sled races, endurance trials, cross country, it all leaves me in awe of the awesome power and connection we can have when paired with highly tuned athletes.

Then you add in money. Money screws up everything.

Walking horses are getting sored to win, horses are being raced too young and too hard, drugs are rampant, animals that lose are considered disposable, jumping horses pushed to breaking points, puppy mills. It's ugly.

Ugly enough that a lot of friends can't stomach any part of the sports they may otherwise love. I get that, totally. I just hope that the people who feel that way know that there are still a lot of us out there who do what we do because at the root of it, we love the animals.

The trainer Lake is coming to us from is one of these people. Not only did he hold a horse in a track stall, that could be taken by a money making horse until he found a place for it to go, he was also diligent in research to be sure the horse was safe afterwards. Guaranteed to always have someone looking in on him and making sure he was okay for life.

Since talking to me yesterday, the trainer had Lake's feet done, new x-rays taken, gave him his winter vaccines, wormed him, and even sent a blanket along to be sure he wasn't waiting through a cold front for me to buy him one.

Lake's trainer personally disclosed everything about the horse and gave his full contact info asking to be kept updated on the horse even after I had gone over everything with the assistant trainer.

Lake Pleasant is loading on a horse van at Churchill Downs in 2 hours to head to Nashville for the night then on to us... here we go!

Meet Lake Pleasant

In the next few weeks we will be welcoming a horse van in the middle of the night to deliver our first foster Thoroughbred, straight from the track, done with racing and searching for a new place in the world.

His name is Lake Pleasant, a 5 year old bay gelding who will probably end up right at 16 hands. 22 starts, 4 to place, 3 first (one this year), earnings just over $45k. He's at Churchill Downs right now and will come to us from his trainer, who is also part owner. This is the part where I tell you all about how professional I was talking to this trainer on the phone, while he's standing in the stands at Churchill Downs with a track announcer and crowds cheering behind him, talking racehorses. Yeah right. I was slightly starstruck. Let's just say it's a good thing he couldn't see my face while we were discussing race training techniques and rehab.

When you look at his pedigree, Lake Pleasant is a rock star with Seattle Slew by way of his Grand-sire, the famous A.P. Indy. Secretariat is also on both sides in addition to a double dose of my beloved Native Dancer (including a straight mix of Dancer and Secretariat blood) on his Dam's side.

He's a looker too with his socks and blaze. I imagine he's going to charm his way into a second career easily. Lake is leaving racing due to minor complications from an injury, he suffered a conylar fracture (very common injury to young racehorses) to his right ankle a few years ago. Surgery placed screws in the ankle and he recovered, raced, and won again on that leg.

Unfortunately track life is a little too hard on him now and after full work outs he pulls up lame for a day or two. The trainer tells me that a little hand walking and he's back to 100% sound moving again. The x-rays taken as recently as yesterday show nothing except a few signs of arthritis and no one can really find a reason why he is coming up lame. The track vet recommends a few months off to allow it to calcify a little more, possibly reducing flexibility in the joint, but leaving him sound to move and work under saddle for a lot of years. Lake Pleasant won't need the pounding on that leg that a show jumping horse takes, though the Dressage world may need to watch out for him with his good looks and flashy chrome.

He hasn't been on turn-out with other horses since he was a yearling. Most of the usual questions you would ask about a horse, "does he get along with other horses? is he bossy? Does he challenge fence-lines?" Can't be answered because nobody really knows. It'll be interesting to see how he handles life here with a bossy gray mare and a quiet old Arab once he's well enough for full turnout.

His trainer describes him as spirited with a dose of playfulness and adds that there isn't a mean bone in his body.  Lake Pleasant has no vices, not even stall weaving, and should be arriving once the vans of horses begin packing up from Kentucky and heading to Ocala, FL for the winter. Turns out Seven Hearts is in a prime location for an OTTB turnover spot, we're right by the interstate that all the racehorses travel twice a year between KY and FL.