Snowstorm 2014

Shortly after my last post, we went back into winter storm mode. Ankle deep, wheelbarrow trapping mud turned into this gorgeous scene that made the work a little easier to bear.

It was so much fun! We played while the snow fell

and again the next day we were able to enjoy a perfectly powder snow in very comfortable air temperatures.

Of course all of that snow melted and turned into even more mud. Topped off by rain last night, it's hard to know when I'll have footing to work horses on again (an indoor arena is a regular fantasy). It isn't all bad though, the kids were off for the snow last week and off again this week for winter break so we've gone on adventures as often as possible.

Happy Birthday (on Valentine's Day of course) to my now 13 year-old, Czech Valentine!

Snow & Goodbyes

We had a crazy week of snow in our area two weeks ago, the water bucket ice breaking was a little more fun when it came with playing in the snow with the ponies.

It was a short lived enjoyment though, as I'm sure many of you who get snow regularly understand, it wears out its messy welcome quickly. Add to it my oldest daughter slipping and falling hard on the ice, breaking her arm, and we were over it. Unfortunately it's now back again, snowing as I type, with winter storm warnings lighting up my phone.

We also had a heavy loss to our little family, my Matisse. I'm glad she was able to play in the snow one more time before we had to suddenly say goodbye a week later.

I was there when she was born and she has been with me since before kids, marriage, horses, any of it. She and I traveled the southeast together, won everything we could, and she helped me raise my babies when it was time for that too. Matisse was amazing and her passing has left a huge hole in my heart I've been struggling to deal with. Her constant presence at my side in the house is painfully missed. Today is the first time I got back in the saddle since the snowfall two weeks ago.

The boys help me heal in a way only they can.

As death has a way of prompting, I spent an excessive amount of time wondering if I'm doing it all okay. Am I giving enough of myself to the humans and animals I love? Am I doing enough? Am I setting myself up for some future regret? AM I DOING ENOUGH?

I recently read "Saving Baby" by Jo Ann Normile. Saving Baby has the subtitle; "How One Woman's Love For a Racehorse Led Her To Redemption". It sounded right up my alley. I wanted to help racehorses maybe the book contained things that would help me on my journey.

Boy was I right about it steering my journey, but in all the wrong ways. First you should know that there is not a positive thing said about racing in the entire read. I get it, she was at a lower end track and conditions were bad. I appreciate her honesty. That being said though, she described stall as jail. She listed things that most trainers do, with no explanation as to why they are doing it (most cases to protect the horse). It was all the awful and terrible and believe me, there is plenty of it.

Yes, racetracks can have terrible stories. Bad trainers. Bad owners. Shady business. It's money and animals and the two rarely mix without there being a morally loose screw ruining it for those that genuinely care. You will find the largest heap of this at the lower end tracks.

There are also trainers who care and do the right thing by their horses.

It's a slippery slope, like dog breeding. Good dog breeders have contracts that require dogs come back to them if ever unwanted, even microchipping the puppies before they leave. They screen for health issues before breeding. They take the greatest care in starting puppies right and working to find the exact right home for each puppy (most spoken for before they are even born) and only breed in an effort to make better dogs or keep a great line of healthy dogs going. Then you have puppy mills and backyard breeders who breed whatever, whenever, who fill the shelters with unwanted dogs. Mass public blames every breeder for killing of shelter dogs, when in reality a great breeder's puppy would never end up there.

So too is horse racing. A good trainer's horse would likely never see the suffering that is portrayed over and over in the book as happening to "all racehorses". Is there a problem? Yes. A lot of them. Should all owners/trainers/breeders be condemned with a broad stroke? No.

The slaughter of horses is gone into multiple times in the book, something she plays off for the first half of the book that she didn't understand was ever taking place, then revisits in vivid detail over and over. If you don't know how a horse is slaughtered, you should before you decide your stance on the slaughter issue. Most horse people do know and I tried to skip over each part that went into it.

Her own horse, her first racehorse, Baby, dies. Shattering his leg on the badly maintained track mid-race. Being put down, to my remembering horror, just like Lake was here at my farm.

She spends decades trying to "save Baby" (aka redemption) by forming CANTER. She helps hundreds upon hundreds of racehorses. She takes credit for being the first to push a big recycled racehorse movement in the sport horse world. Only Jo Ann never finds satisfaction in it, always seeing Baby in that one horse she couldn't save. Crying over every horse that a trainer wouldn't release to her even though she took twelve away from the track that day.

Taking a years-overdue vacation with her husband and spending it still saving horses, all night, all day. Late to her daughter's own bridal gown fitting. There were always more and "what if that one horse was just like Baby and I didn't make the time to save him".

It was never enough. It was painful. Over and over again. Her family relationships suffered. Her own personal horses never saw her and she felt the overwhelming regret of it when it was their time to pass. In helping hundreds she found no solace. I tossed the book in the trash as soon as I was finished with it. It was a plea for help with no end and I was left feeling raw and exposed to a problem I had no hope of solving.

Saying goodbye to my best little furry friend last week rammed this home to me. The years I managed her around the kids were the hardest to reconcile in my head. She was so great with them and I was just busy, no extras for her for all that time. The times I did spend with her, the adventures we had together, that is what eases my heart each day and I wish for more.

I've always said "one day" or "if we won the lottery" I would take in racehorses, desperate to feel like I'm helping in some bigger picture than just myself. I don't think I realized I am. I have two in my pasture right now. They have a great life because of me and the time I spend with them is all I have and it's precious. Having time to slowly groom Bandon because he likes to feel like a colt who has a mother to groom him, playing keep away with Czech, and teaching Spotlight new tricks to show the kids would be lost as I networked and worried about horses out of my control striving for more and more lives saved.

Maybe saving my racehorses, is enough.

Prospect Horse

When I finally saw the start of a huge dream begin to unfold as we made arrangements to get our first off the track horse to rehab instead of keep, I had no idea what was waiting for us as we went through the loss of Lake.

As I do barn chores everyday, Whisper's stall stares at me with "What next?"

I still want to help racehorses. I do NOT want any additional "forever" horses of my own (save for one special guy Chris and I agree may retire here one day). I also do not want another horse who is broken from the track and at greater odds to either be forced to become a forever horse here or to have the injuries worsen. I've paid attention to the numbers, I understand the odds of these horses is more grave than I initially thought.

A prospect horse is an idea, taking a fresh, sound, off-track and spending time on the horse to make him suitable to resale. This would be beneficial to the horse we take and if it all went well, we would re-coop money put into the horse. A hugely satisfying venture for the horse and for me.

It's also a gamble. The horse could get sick. The horse could get injured here. The horse may not have a sound mind and be difficult to re-sell. The horse could sell then not workout and I would feel it was my duty to provide a safety net for the horse.

There have been horses that crossed my path in the last few months that I could have helped. One slaughter-bound OTTB gelding I tried for and was deeply hurt to find out that he was not at all who they claimed (something I should have learned after experiences with horses that are listed one age and actually another) and that the horse was in a shady deal that you couldn't really save him from. I went so far as setting up quarantine for him before I realized that he was never going to make it out of there.

My other option, of course, is to do nothing. Keep my happy herd of three and continue on working the pony to be good for my kids and my own boys for myself. This is the smartest option of all. It's also the most self-serving where, to be honest, I'm left at the end of the day feeling like I'm not doing any good for the world outside of myself and that's hard for me. I need to help and contribute to the world and I'd like it to be by helping OTTB's.

I'm happy to say that I'm smarter about things after living through these horses and experiences. I don't trust what I don't see with my own eyes (or listings), I know that if it's too good to be true something is wrong, and I've barricaded my heart and my pocketbook a bit against the long shot cases that are good for neither.

I guess we shall wait and see...

Perspective In Time

I've never been a believer of the idea that your life is scripted. As an 8 year old sitting in church listening to the pastor go in detail on how God mapped out my little life before it began, I just couldn't buy it. Another common saying that I don't buy is the "doesn't give you more than you can handle". Too many horrible things have happened in my lifetime for me to ever believe that God would deliberately hand me them simply because I was strong. I wasn't.

Most things people say to others when grieving, don't hold a lot of water for me.

I saw this picture and I fell to pieces.

These three horses are all gone now and this picture was taken just in November.

Where did it go wrong?

Perspective came as my heart opened up to the stories that kept coming across my screen, at first I ignored them, then I started to let them sink in. I haven't asked individual permission to share these stories so I'll be vague as possible save for the experiences I know are public.

There is a Thoroughbred Makeover Challenge this summer, modeled after the Extreme Mustang Makeovers, where pre-selected trainers (26) chose an OTTB with few, if any, rides off the track, to train and expo in October.

I'm sorry that I can't find the exact number at this moment but I believe somewhere in the range of 4 or 5 of these horses that were carefully screened and selected by the trainers, have already been returned due to soundness complications after starting with their trainers. One horse died shortly after arriving at his new trainer's, a believed heart condition that was undetected.

Not due to any neglect or any mean natured intent, just because it's what happens with horses, 20% of these thoroughly pre-screened OTTB's could not continue training to be a normal mount.

A friend's favorite mare balked at a trailer load. The friend asked again and the mare reared, falling, and breaking her neck.

A rescue case needed a stallion gelded and funds were there to help. Last week, after a smooth procedure, the horse struggled to get up and broke his leg needing immediate euthanasia.

A friend paid thousands on a surgery to save a beloved horse's life who was colicing only to lose him months later.

While it's kind of twisted that all these stories bring me comfort, it at least reminds me that it happens all the time and everywhere. Famous trainers and backyard horses who are doted on.

Then there is a good friend's horse who is now in his mid-thirties. Plugging along and still happy to trot out every night with the other horses leaving the barn.

Whisper brought me where I am (with a little help from my husband) to a dream I gave up on a long long time ago. The after-jockey dream is still there and still waiting to be realized and I think I owe it to her to do it now more than ever.

There was a horse, not just a horse (which would be enough for me) he was even more than that. A Grade 1 race winning horse. Last week and 5 years to the day of winning that great race (and a total of nearly half a million dollars in his life) he died. Not due to a tragic accident. Nope. He was put down on the track entered in a $4000 claiming race.

The tragedy of Monzante's death happening on the heels of Whisper struck a deep nerve. This horse traded hands more times than I can count. He ran his best for his owners and trainers until he had no more and they passed him on. Lower and lower down until he was at a bottom of the rung track and his trainer made the choice on the track as he faltered during the race, to put him down, though the vet stated the horse was salvageable.

Monzante didn't have the dignity of being salvaged. The freedom of a pasture. The chance to have a little girl fall in love with him. A life away from the work he gave his whole life in servitude.

I will do something more to help these horses, I'm not sure what just yet and I would be satisfied if my endeavors saved just a handful of horses in my lifetime, I just wish she could be here with me to see it all.

I believe in my heart that God experiences the world through us. This is my life and he experiences my world through me. That helps me remember that he loved Whisper too and that she is safe, though it doesn't stop the tears from coming every time I say her name.

Off The Track, Out Of Hiding

Thoroughbreds were long considered horse royalty. At the top show circuits you could see them, well bred, literally chomping at the bit with flecks of froth catching the wind right back into them as they waited at the gate. Horses that lacked the luck of being born a Thoroughbred weren't likely to ever see the inside of a white fenced arena surrounded by spectators dressed to the nines, or at least they weren't likely to hope for a ribbon.

In the 1950's they were the mount for the elite amateur (aka, person of wealth who did not need to earn money). The United States Equestrian Team showed their Thoroughbreds to the highest levels in that decade and the East Coast anxiously awaited their return each fall to begin the year's show season 'for real'.

Then the Off-Track Thoroughbred got lost, replaced by Warmbloods in top competition and cast with a broad stroke of "hot". Warmbloods and the look that came with them became the new elite. Heavy bone. Elegant movement in a large mount dancing across a dressage arena. Strong horses that were marketed as sane and athletic, marketing themselves while stero-typing the Thoroughbred.

Thoroughbreds were now cast-offs, has-beens, and those that loved them were baffled. Suddenly in the equestrian world Thoroughbreds were the horses you had if you couldn't afford something "better". Even then, "You might want to mix some Quarter Horse in there, to make it good."

Now 2013 finds competitors riding to high levels on their lithe OTTB mounts and WINNING. Riders are again falling in love with the personality traits, enormous heart, and quirks that make up these soft horses, though the Thoroughbred itself is unchanged.

Thoroughbreds are not the horse for everyone. There is something uniquely different about riding and living with them than other breeds (sometimes frustrating quirks), but if you love them and can open your eyes to what they can do, you'll never go back.

This year the Rolex will be covered up with them, competitively positioned, and proudly listing their heritage as an OTTB. In fact, along with this massive show is a Thoroughbreds For All  event with speakers from jockeys to Olympic riders.

Eventing, Hunter Jumpers, Western, Trail Horses, and even Endurance riding, OTTBs are everywhere. April 9 the Today show will feature an OTTB, Metro, who can paint...on canvas!

Thoroughbreds aren't hiding in the corners, they are once again getting the respect they deserve coming out of more than just racecourse starting gates. They aren't sad rescue cases that people take-in broken and used up, most are far from retired when they step hoof off the track.

"Many people have sighed for the 'good old days' and regretted 'the passing of the horse' but today, when only those who like horses own them, it is a far better time for horses"  C. W. Anderson

Bandon's Ride

Bandon is cementing his place around here, getting along with all the horses and people. He enjoys being with me in the pasture no matter what I'm there to do. He's a good guy.

When I went this morning to try him under saddle the first time I didn't have any nervousness about trusting him. Unfortunately, once I got him to the barn and he realized the other 2 horses were still out, he was unsettled. To his credit he didn't panic, instead he pawed, weaved, and called nervously.

After he was tacked I walked him out and down to the arena, his head dropped and started nudging me along, following like a puppy. Bandon was a dream to ride. He has a lot of  power and a tiny squeeze or cluck will send him forward but he isn't just rushing around panicked or lost. He's responsive on the bit and has an enormous stride that's a lot of fun.

He spooked once as a vehicle with no muffler went barreling down the highway that's just through the trees. Hollowing out his back, he pulls his front up, and just needs to go forward. Exactly like Whisper's spook. Huge relief to get that out of the way and know what his is like.

The only quirky thing I can say about the boy is that he kept his tongue out while warming-up. I know dental issues were a problem in his past, we'll keep an eye on it and work to keep my hands soft. I'm riding him in a loose ring french link so the bit is super mild in his mouth.

Back up to the barn to untack I let him stand at the main gate instead of asking him to stand inside the barn so he could relax. I couldn't stop squishing him, he was just completely good!

After an afternoon playing outside with my kids, I wanted to get in a ride on Whisper today too. Though Whisper is a challenge that sometimes I'm tired of facing. She broke her halter last week on the crossties with my farrier and today she broke another one on a single tie with me. She just panics until something snaps every so often. Once she's loose she careens around the barn kicking, squealing, and popping little half rears threatening to strike anyone near her. After a minute or two she starts bobbing her head, blowing hard, and allows me to catch her again.

Finally tacked-up, I took her out and she did okay with groundwork, I hopped on. She bolted. One-rein stop pulled her up for her to curl up trying to go again. I saved my neck and worked her on the longe instead. It is so completely frustrating to be back at square one, the same as the day she came off the trailer from the track, two years later. Some days I think she has some sort of imbalance.

So, I licked my wounds and went for a short ride on Bandon again (grooming and tacking him outside the barn which he tolerated better). He was a gentlemen on a very loose rein working at the trot, by the end of our ride I was riding with my hands at the buckle, and I ended the day brushing everyone down in their stalls while they munched on dinner. This end of day grooming is where Spotlight excels, being the perfect size to groom and then love all over while he heaves tolerant sighs. The boys more than made up for Whisper's standoffish behavior.

I feel my heart healing with our little herd.

"Again the early-morning sun was generous with its warmth. All the sounds dear to a horseman were around me - the snort of the horses as they cleared their throats, the gentle swish of their tails, the tinkle of the irons as we flung the saddles over their backs - little sounds of no importance, but they stay in the unconscious library of memory." - Wynford Vaughan Thomas

Track Trainers Are Not All Bad

Track people get a bad reputation that isn't always warranted. I love sports and I love animals. Horse racing, dog sled races, endurance trials, cross country, it all leaves me in awe of the awesome power and connection we can have when paired with highly tuned athletes.

Then you add in money. Money screws up everything.

Walking horses are getting sored to win, horses are being raced too young and too hard, drugs are rampant, animals that lose are considered disposable, jumping horses pushed to breaking points, puppy mills. It's ugly.

Ugly enough that a lot of friends can't stomach any part of the sports they may otherwise love. I get that, totally. I just hope that the people who feel that way know that there are still a lot of us out there who do what we do because at the root of it, we love the animals.

The trainer Lake is coming to us from is one of these people. Not only did he hold a horse in a track stall, that could be taken by a money making horse until he found a place for it to go, he was also diligent in research to be sure the horse was safe afterwards. Guaranteed to always have someone looking in on him and making sure he was okay for life.

Since talking to me yesterday, the trainer had Lake's feet done, new x-rays taken, gave him his winter vaccines, wormed him, and even sent a blanket along to be sure he wasn't waiting through a cold front for me to buy him one.

Lake's trainer personally disclosed everything about the horse and gave his full contact info asking to be kept updated on the horse even after I had gone over everything with the assistant trainer.

Lake Pleasant is loading on a horse van at Churchill Downs in 2 hours to head to Nashville for the night then on to us... here we go!

A History On Thoroughbreds

My copy of "Reschooling The Thoroughbred" by Peggy Pittenger arrived today. I picked it up after dinner and didn't put it down until I was finished.

The racing information was really helpful though I wish I hadn't read was the number of TB foals registered yearly versus the number that succeed or become breeding stock. There are so many OTTB's out there going to slaughter instead of having a second life as mounts and companions, it's shocking.

Specific to my horse, I learned more about let-down. As an off-track goes through the physical changes associated with muscle mass decrease prior to fleshing out they can show dry and dull coat, appetite loss, and weight loss in spite of adequate calorie intake. The syndrome is a normal faze for many and can even present clinically as anemia as the horse's blood literally learns how to deal without the large dumps of adrenaline the races create (and the drugs the horse may have been given).

Whisper is now on the upswing of this and is sporting some squishy chest areas, and that her skin reaction to flies will be the worst of her life this first year off track. Racetracks are kept scrupulously clean, as well as routinely fogged to keep fly populations in check, a stark contrast to an open horse pasture bordered by cattle. 

I lost myself in the history of the Thoroughbred all over again, picking up some new stories. Thoroughbreds originated Arabians, of course, but did you know that hot blooded is not just a phrase but that TB's actually have different blood composition from cold blooded horses?  They have a higher red blood cell count allowing for better oxygenation of the blood and in turn making them better athletes. Whisper has Native Dancer twice in her bloodline, the first real successful gray Thoroughbred to race in his time, but all gray TB's can be traced back to the Alcock Arabian foaled in 1704 after gray fell heavily out of favor in England.

The TB's also retained the Arabian's fewer vertebrae and fewer ribs than other horses. Their long backed appearance is really only due to shoulder angulation lining out to open hip lines resulting in covering a lot of ground where they stand.

The stories are so memorable, all the imaginary rides I took on the Goldolphin Arabian as a kid now stand before me in my beautiful gray girl. I have my dog breed, Siberian Husky. that I have been and always will be affiliated with, but never in my years with horses did I feel that connection to any one breed of horse before now. Quarter Horses are everywhere and wonderful all-round horses. Promise certainly displays a lot of the appealing attributes of America's Horse. Arabians are stunning beauties with athletic tendency in an artwork's body. But the Thoroughbred, at least this Thoroughbred, may have begun to claim me.